Weight jokes

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!

Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."