My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Wedding Jokes
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
what do you call it when you get married in Panera Bread?
Panera Wed.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Mary."
"Mary who?"
"Marry me!"
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
