Wedding jokes
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
Why did Ms. Grapes 馃崌 want to marry Mr. Grapes 馃崌?
Because she loves raisin kids.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Why can't melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next... So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She鈥檇 say, "Knock knock." We鈥檇 say, "Who鈥檚 there?" Then she鈥檇 say, "I can鈥檛 remember"... and start to cry."
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.