Wear jokes

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Why does fireman wear red suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

Wears pink.

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Snow caps!

What does a cloud wear in a storm?

Thunderwear.

When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?

Why can't lesbians wear makeup while on a diet?

Because they can't eat Jenny Craig while Mary Kay is sitting on their face.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

So they can climb a fence easier.

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

Because it was all about the TIMING.

What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?

The piranha doesn't wear makeup.

What’s worse than banging your sister?

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.