Weapon jokes
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
What do you call a retard with AK special forces?
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.