Weapon jokes
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
What do you call a retard with AK special forces?
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.