Weapon jokes
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
Weaponization of flashlights
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun…
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.