Weapon jokes
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What do you call a retard with AK special forces?
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.