Weapon jokes
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Bomb.