Weapon jokes

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

"Sticks and stones break my bones."

A crowbar does it so much quicker.

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?

Special forces.

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

Bomb.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.