Weapon jokes
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
What's a gun's favorite type of literature?
Magazine.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.