Weapon jokes
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
Memes
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?
Special forces.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Bomb.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.