Weapon jokes

What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?

Special forces.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

What do you call an army of autistic people with guns?

Special forces.

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.