My mom said i need Jesus in my life, So I drunk up the holy water ;}.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
Is that ass a water barrier cos damđ„”
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"? Because it carried water and another word for water is aqua. duhh
what was the last thing that went through PH's head? water and smoke
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said "No, I'll just wash up on shore."
amongus tea water
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal? Cause dad never brought home the milk...
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water? â Because his dad never brought the milk.â
any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery
3 friends go to a water park and meet a genie. âYou each get one wish.â âWhen you get to the top of the slide you shall scream your wish as you go down.â The first man went down the slide and screamed âCOCA COLAâ and the pool was fuelled with CocaCola. The next ugly ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams âC-M&MSâ as if he wasnât just about to say cum-then the pool was full of cu-â mean M&Ms. The last horny ass bitch is so excited he says âWEEE!â Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pull wasnât full of Dildos./j
why do orphan have water in cereal
bc mom was never around to produce milk
Yo mama why you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario I mean Mario jump to Mars
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches , Iâm gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish !
Then there is a bear , he thinks if that fly drops six inches , that fish jumps up - Iâm gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish !
This huntsman also thinks to him self đ§ if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps up , bear runs out eats the fish . Iâm gonna shoot that fucking bear .
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse , who also thinks to him self đ§ if that fly drops six inches , fish jumps , bear runs , huntsman shoots ,
Heâs bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket !!!!
Iâm gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile ..,
thereâs This cat !!!â He sees whatâs going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings ...
Anyway bang đ„ the fly drops six inches . Fish jumps up . Bear grabs the fish . Huntsman shoots the fucking bear ,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE !!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat Slips over him ( stacks it ) cat falls in the river ...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS .............
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet )
WALLOP ... try remembering all that in A pub pissed . Xx
why does the ophan drink hot coco with water because his dad never came back with the milk
"Hey, hey Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They donât know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphanâs family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter âfâ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphanâs least favorite song? We are Family.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite tv show? Family Guy.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
Whatâs an orphanâs favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms
What beer do orphans drink? Fosterâs.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because itâs the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
How do fish get high? Bc they eat seaweed
