Watch jokes
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Why did the rapper sit on the clock?
He wanted to keep it real with TIME.
Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?
I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
My lesbian friends bought me a nice watch for my birthday. I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch."
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."