A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
Lemme just say one thing:
Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?
PG movies.
I shouted "Jenga" in class today.
We were watching clips of 9/11.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
Should cishet people REALLY be watching Ranboo?
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
