Want jokes
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're never wanted.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?