The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"
The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Odo walks down the alley and turns into a bar.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
