Vs jokes
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?
Because the Titanic hit it.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?
The Twin Towers gave up and let down.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.