Vs jokes
What’s the difference between a school and an ISIS hideout?
I don’t know, I just fly the drone.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs ;)
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What is the difference between a woman performing anilingus on a man and a woman performing fellatio on a man?
If a woman is performing anilingus on a man, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.