Vs jokes
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop onions.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!