Virus jokes
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).
Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.
You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.
Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"
You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?
Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!