Virus jokes

What if your Corona test is neutral?

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

AIDS?

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.

The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."

China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.

Why did Steven Hawkins die?

Because he got a virus.

A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."