Virus jokes
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Virus Scam????
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He pirated GTA VI Hindi No Virus 2022.
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.