Virgin jokes
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Calculate my dick, virgins!
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
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When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.