New Virgin Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

Yoav

Uder the sheets.

Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.

Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.

SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.

God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.

THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!

What do you call a YouTuber? A virgin.

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.

"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.

"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"

The priest shakes his head.

"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.

"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.