Virgin jokes
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.