Vehicle jokes
I go beep like a Jeep.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
To people who say that depression hits hard...
The car begs to disagree.
What is green and looks like a school bus?
A school bus.
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
I’ll never forget my father’s last words...
Oh fuck, it’s a bus!
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.