Vegan jokes

Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

I love vegans because they save more meat for us.

In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.

Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.

Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.

Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.

Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!

My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?

What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?

A shitty plant-based patty.

Save the plants, eat a vegan.

Maga shaman is a vegan, lmao!

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!

Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.

Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.

Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?

Kids: Yeah!

Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!

Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.

*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*

Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.

Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.

Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.

Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!

Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!

Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!

Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.

Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.

Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.

Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.

Pastor: You deserve to die.

- I attack

Why do vegans use blowjobs?

Because they can’t take real meat.