Van jokes
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.