What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Van Jokes
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
Waarom staat de toren van Pisa scheef?
Hij had betere reflexen dan de Twin Towers.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.