Van

Van jokes

One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.

The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”

The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”

The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”

So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.

The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”

The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”

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    • Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

    Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

    A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

    The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

    My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

    What does a middle aged man live in?

    A retarded kid he keeps in the van.

    Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

    I heard there was a kidnapping.

    Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

    It was his father's friend who was a priest.

    He was just bringing him to church.

    I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

    Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

    A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.