Van jokes
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite place in Fortnite? The reboot van.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Roses are red.
I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoes?
White vans.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
What is Beethoven's favorite vehicle?
A van.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.