Use jokes
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I used to think all Americans were racist.
Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
The first time you have a new phone, you have a different one. You can change your phone to a new phone, but it doesn’t change the phone, it’s just different. I think it will work. I just think it would look good, and then it would work, but you don’t know if it’s the right thing for the new one. You just know it’s the wrong. It’s a bad phone. It’s a new thing. It’s the same for different every day, but it doesn’t look, and I think so it’s not a good, but it works, so it’s different, so it’s different for the new phone, and it doesn’t have to work on it. It doesn’t matter to the same for you know it’s just the one but it doesn’t have the one that I can do a lot better and I can just use my new one, but it is not that the new iPhone, so you have the one that’s the other is that I have the same thing and it’s the same phone, but I have to get the new iPhone. I just want it and then you have a good and it’s a different number so it’s just like so it’s just one, but you know it’s not like I have the new iPhone so you know it’s just one so it’s a little more than just the one and it will get the new phone so it’s just easier and cheaper for the money but it won’t cost much more to pay off your car than to get the phone for the next two weeks weeks or even two years to to have the car car fixed so it’s easier and quicker and I will be happy I’m happy happy I’m so excited excited thank y all and I will talk soon and have you have an update as to the results soon thank ya again so far hope all goes all are good hope to be in your class today love and have you been in your dreams hope all your day too bye.
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.