US jokes

Why can't orphans use iPhones?

There's a home button.

Q: Why do women only use their lefts?

A: Because they don't have any rights.

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski

"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.

Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."

Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?

'Cause they were using fowl language!

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?

He couldn't find the home button.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.

What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?

He used a bus.

We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."