US jokes

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson like to use to clean himself? Baby wipes.

What are Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite songs? "Baby Love" and "Baby Talk to Me."

Twin Towers

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

Dark Humor

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.