US jokes
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?
Slaves.
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
People are pushing for a Black Statue Of Liberty coin.
Can't wait to use Black people as currency again :)
What is the difference between an orphan and a blanket?
One is actually used.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.