Ur jokes
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
Your hairline is so bad, I do your mom so hard!
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Spread your legs and give me an hour.