Ur jokes

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Face

  • Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

    Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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    Vampire

  • Me: *stabs vampire*

    Wife: omg

    Me: *beats vampire to death*

    Wife: OMG

    Me: What?

    Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!

    Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?

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    Forehead

  • I said something in your ear, and then it echoed because of the size of your forehead because your brain [is] small.

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    Mom

  • Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

    Hairline

  • Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.

    Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.

    Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.

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  • Orphanage

  • Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

    Son: Why, Dad?

    Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.