Ur jokes

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.

Ur dad

Omg, I'm sooooo sry!!!!!

Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.

Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?

Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

Are you a marry, because you are my mother?

Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.

You're tiny!

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

I saw your forehead and realized your mom and dad's foreheads were as big as yours. Also, you're gay.

Someone asks a question: Who? Who asked? Boom, you"re done xxx.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."