What did the ass say to the joke?
"You CRACK me up"
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I'll fuck you for $10. The boy says “I would but I don't have any money.” She says “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok so they go up stairs and fuck. The prostitute says “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the MIC and picked up WEIGHTS
What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?
"Mix it up, yo"
I don’t know why I go to the gym being healthy is dying fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
you're dad is so fucking fat that when he bends over and comes back up its the next day
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!“ The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!“ The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.“
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. I’m breaking up with you bitch.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy
What is George Floyd’s? Best pick up line Your breathtaking
