Ups Jokes

we sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave eric and dylan a shortcut

hellen threw up gang signs her whole life and didnt know

What goes up and down but stays in the same place? Stairs.

I was a sit down comedian then i try to stand up I felled

I wished i stayed in the wheelchair.

somebody told me to cheer up so....i told him to pass me a rope :)

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think damn better luck next time

I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD and it diagnosed me with slavery

What do orphans and garbage have in common? They’re both in the street and no one wants pick them up

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Wo-man!'

My dad made up that joke. #Dad jokes

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶

- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏

Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶

Why make a joke when i wake up and look at myelf?

I was kicked out of a orphanage kitchen because I yelled hurry up some of us have homes to get back to.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed". I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there son".

What do you do when a woman is choking? Back up a couple inches

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight, all I had to do is say stand up

What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?

tripadvisor.com

my friend was in a crash so when he got put in a wheelchair people bullied him so i told him to stand up for him self

I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻