Ups jokes

Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,

“Boo.”

“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”

Jack sat down next to her and smiled.

“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.

“That sounds fun,” said Jill.

“C’mon, let’s go!”

The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. They frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.

“You ready?” Asked Jack.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.

Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.

“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.

Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.

“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.

Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...

What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?

Sunbeams.

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

What's the definition of disgusting?

Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.