Ugliness jokes
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"