Ugliness jokes
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.
Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
Big, ugly, and very weird.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."