Two Jokes

I had to share a table recently with a disabled man when I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

Why are the twin towers and after the girls kill all boys are similar? There used to be two but now there's one...

two pedo's are on the beach one pedo said hey get out of my son

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

a surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery

boss: "we have to let you go."

surgeon: "I protest innocence."

boss: "how?"

surgeon: "I thought to do your job and saving people's lives were two different things."

boss: "get out"

Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves? because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs

When I was young I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back. Except they didn't get back up.

why were the people during 911 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches but they got two planes.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun, and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

(wow two pregnancy jokes in a row)

What do you call a cow with two legs? -- Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? -- Ground beef.

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".