Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
9/11 is like genders. There used to be two of them and now it’s a touchy subject.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
