Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea”
So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night
Me: Now knowing why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured is out.
A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)
You watch 50 shades of gray, and you turn gray in bed.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
There was a boy a named Sammy and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne but she didn’t notice him or talk to him but one day she did and they end up liking each and getting married and lived happil- wait no that’s not right Sammy snuck in Raynes house at night and Kidnapped her locked her in his basement and turned her in a puppet so she be with him forever and ever. The End.
what happens when a black person gets in a car? the check oil light turns on
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What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What’s the speed limit in bed? It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night she’s back in bed
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Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Good luck 😝- “I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.”
Steven Hawking had dark humor. Whenever he turned on his laugh effect it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Which Book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible Plot Twist?
-The math Book📘🔢. Suddenly letters 🔠 appear in the calculations...
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
