Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?

Poutine with Russian dressing!

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    • If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.

    Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

    Trump: What's UpNigga?

    Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

    "Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

    What do you get when you cross a cow and the Kool-Aid Man? Donald Trump, cuz of his red face and juicy tits.

    *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

    What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

    Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!

    Trump likes to grab 'em by the pussy. Putin likes to grab them by their tiny hands.