Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

Mexican

The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.

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  • Wall

    When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

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  • Hair

    Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.

    Drug Dealer

    I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

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  • Sun

    North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

    Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

    The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

    Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

    Hole

    Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

    In case he gets a hole in one.

    Tie

    Why are Trump's ties so long?

    Because they go all the way to Russia.

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  • Printer

    Trump is going too far.

    He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.

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  • Pentagon

    The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

    so Trump can't tweet it.

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  • Wall

    How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.

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  • Cheese

    Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

    He wants to make America grate again.

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  • America

    If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.