I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
Trump's mom.
Donald Trump is YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
you.
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
Trump, must I say more?
I'm Gay.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
