Train jokes
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
I like trains.
*train hits him*
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train!
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?