Train jokes

The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.

You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Why was the train late?

It kept getting sidetracked.

Why do school shooters have the best shots?

They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.

The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.

The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.

In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.

Johnny: What?

Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?

Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!

Ex: Awhh!

Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

Are you a train because I want to get railed by you? ;)

You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

How does a train eat?

"Chew chew!"