Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
