I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.
Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.
Tragedy Jokes
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
