Tragedy jokes
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.