Tragedy jokes

Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until they go home.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

Why are Americans bad chess players?

They lost 2 towers.

When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

Turn on the gas chamber.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

C is for Clara who wasted away.

D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

G is for George smothered under a rug.

H is for Hector done in by a thug.

I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

J is for James who took lye by mistake.

K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

N is for Neville who died of ennui.

O is for Olive run through with an awl.

P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

S is for Susan who perished of fits.

T is for Titus who flew into bits.

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

V is for Victor squashed under a train.

W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

He had a change of race tho when he died.

What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?

Ice, Ice Baby!!

Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

POV there’s a school shooting.

American: First time, European?

European: Yeah, you American?

American: No, not my first time.