Tragedy

Tragedy jokes

People

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

Orphan

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Brother

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

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  • Pilot

    Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

    He was the best pilot in Arab.

    Orphan

    How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

    You make them clap until they go home.

    Memes

    9/11

    Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

    A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

    Wheelchair

    What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

    Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

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  • School Shooter

    When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."

    Human

    How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?

    Turn on the gas chamber.

    Death

    A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.

    B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

    C is for Clara who wasted away.

    D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

    E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.

    F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.

    G is for George smothered under a rug.

    H is for Hector done in by a thug.

    I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

    J is for James who took lye by mistake.

    K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.

    L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.

    M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.

    N is for Neville who died of ennui.

    O is for Olive run through with an awl.

    P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.

    Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.

    R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.

    S is for Susan who perished of fits.

    T is for Titus who flew into bits.

    U is for Una who slipped down a drain.

    V is for Victor squashed under a train.

    W is for Winnie embedded in ice.

    X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.

    Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.

    Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

    School Shooter

    If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

    Titanic

    What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

    I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

    Emo kid

    That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

    Paul Walker

    I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

    He had a change of race tho when he died.

    Number

    Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

    School shooting

    POV there’s a school shooting.

    American: First time, European?

    European: Yeah, you American?

    American: No, not my first time.

    Tower

    Why can't Americans play chess?

    Because they're missing two towers.