Worst Jokes Ever
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
My sad ass life.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
No pine, no gain!
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.