Worst Jokes Ever
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.