Worst Jokes Ever
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Bro, yo goofy ahh hairline lookin' like a rhombicosidodecahedron.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.