Worst Jokes Ever

I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.

I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.

Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Why are pirates pirates?

Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!

POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.

Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!

Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!

Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!

Poke him on!

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."

What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)

My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station.

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

An escort.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.

My sad ass life.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.

Kid: Why, Dad?

Dad: So you don't get bored.

What actor does an orphan hate?

Vin Diesel.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.