Worst Jokes Ever

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?

Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.

A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?

The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?

POV: You call the group of emos the "Suicide Squad."

I saw some twins, so I threw a paper plane at them.

What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

What makes an orphan jump?

A bridge.

What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.

What is 6 inches and long?

A Slim Jim.

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.