Worst Jokes Ever
What did the ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kidâs sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When youâre playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say âThis boy always had a fat assâ.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
Whatâs an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
What's the difference between Jane Doe and a field?
A field gets harvested in the fall, while Jane Doe gets plowed.
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: Whatâs the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Letâs stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: Whatâs a math teacherâs favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Letâs stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: Whatâs a math teacherâs favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Whatâs a fireflyâs favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: Whatâs rainâs favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: Whatâs a princessâs favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: Whatâs a ballerinaâs favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop âtil they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is cornâs favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why canât Monday lift Saturday?
A: Itâs a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer playerâs favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: Whatâs a ball that you donât throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didnât the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacherâs favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?
My sis a fat cow.
What the hell is this website? Do you all think these jokes are funny?
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Whatâs the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You canât pull on her hair.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess itâs not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?
They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!