Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"