Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?

A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.

What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?

About a few thousand miles.

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.