Worst Jokes Ever
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.